I am an edgy cube among polished spheres,
Painted on top - no repaint layers.
Uninsured my mind drives against walls,
The crash gets cleaned ...... but tears fall.
I sit alone at night no more -
The stars have long befriended me;
I want to understand no more -
'Understanding' has deceived me!
I realize a loss, feel hollow inside,
Fate takes turns to cut through me ...
Is it immature to try holding on?
Holding on to a dying tree?
How often does a heart rebel inside?
The conscience ever crave to speak ......
Maybe it is a foolish wish
To hope for that which money can't buy ......
So I don't even dream any more,
'Cause even dreams cost, you see!
Thoughts pent up and dressed up nice,
Masks to hide - some entice ....
My set of "can but doesn't"s is funny -
And I failed to merge love and money;
I am all you should never try to be ....
I am, my friends, my destiny!
The above is dedicated to those who chose to be different.......opted for the harder way........gave their all to someone/something.........and quietly dressed their pain in smiles!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Hello everyone! I am feeling tired today ...... and yet want to wirte something ..... so I will take the easy route out by writing a very short poem ..... let's see what verse might provide when prose gives way ........
It doesn't yet have a name ---
Chains around him that pain no more,
Trying to hold in a joy so soar .......
Words erupting deep inside,
Turning away but cannot hide .......
Silver linings that come and go,
The tide of joy might hit the floor .....
Thoughts pent up and dripping slow,
Love is warm but hard to show ......
The present merges into past sublime,
A swirl of dreams on the tick of time ......
He struggles to tell ...... but tears swell ---
We hear a silent prayer for peace !
See you next time!
It doesn't yet have a name ---
Chains around him that pain no more,
Trying to hold in a joy so soar .......
Words erupting deep inside,
Turning away but cannot hide .......
Silver linings that come and go,
The tide of joy might hit the floor .....
Thoughts pent up and dripping slow,
Love is warm but hard to show ......
The present merges into past sublime,
A swirl of dreams on the tick of time ......
He struggles to tell ...... but tears swell ---
We hear a silent prayer for peace !
See you next time!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
So long IIT Kanpur........
Hello friends! This is the last night as a student at IIT Kanpur, the very place which once seemed like a daunting institution reveling in its intellectual glory.......the very place which, they said, would take you even better places......the same prize that millions fight for but know very little about...and I was no exception!
Today, on the verge of leaving for a new journey...a new chapter in life, the mind yearns to stay back....the heart ponders on the last 24 months....not only with fond memories of a journey which completely changed my life (just as many others), but with a subtle understanding of a little part of IITK I now carry with me.....because I now realize that the challenges, competition and intensity of this place that all of us fervently (at times grudgingly) went through, actually developed a part of us we never even knew existed! Instead of the usual stuff IITK was supposed to give me as a finished product of its assembly line - such as knowledge, a hard-earned degree, decent future prospects and so on....... the more important take-home's for me turned out to be much less materialistic - such as the conviction to try on, the guts to think "out of the box" and, perhaps most importantly, a broader understanding of life!
So, yes, I can hear my gray cells (which are few and far between) sobbing a little to leave this place, but the heart has unexpectedly joined in too......to bid adieu to the many bonds built in such a short span of time.....all my batke (BTech), matke (MTech) and phaddu (PhD) friends .....warm smiles from the hostel(8), mess and canteen "bhaiyas"....the "aaj mess me karela hai" canteen dinners......the heady fun of the antaragnis, techkritis and galaxy's........out-of-the-blue "contri" pizza parties.......the never-ending and "always lots to notice beside the ppt" basbe seminars....and, closest to heart, some wonderful human beings who became my family!
The last paragraph is more the kind of "acknowledgment" I would have loved to write in my thesis.....but, whatever! On a more serious note, when I look back on my time spent here, and ask myself, "Was IITK the best engineering school in this country?"....the answer I get is "Probably yes"; but on the question of "Did IITK contribute a great deal to India?", the answer is "Probably not". Like anything else, living or otherwise, this place has its share of problems, worries and challenges in the future.....but most of the people leaving their hostels for corporate shores, IIM calls or foreign scholarships know very well in their heart of hearts, that in spite of the numerous draw-backs of "yahan ka systam" (which absorbed many "gaalis" over chai and BBC), this school is still a serious stimulant of thought, innovation and application in the world! But real India (read as Nankari) awaits us outside the IITK walls with despair on the one hand and hope on the other....hope that needs to be answered....and for those of us who have cycled around the countryside know what I mean...so let's hope that our beloved IITK makes a difference...and India will follow!
It's almost 5:10 am now, and I have not yet packed an iota of matter into my prospective luggage, dispersed around my room in perfect "post big bang" anarchy, which needs to get on board a transport about 14 hrs from now (and I am a 10 hr sleeper!).......so got to go friends......take care and more later!
Will really miss IIT Kanpur.......and so will keep coming back !!!
Today, on the verge of leaving for a new journey...a new chapter in life, the mind yearns to stay back....the heart ponders on the last 24 months....not only with fond memories of a journey which completely changed my life (just as many others), but with a subtle understanding of a little part of IITK I now carry with me.....because I now realize that the challenges, competition and intensity of this place that all of us fervently (at times grudgingly) went through, actually developed a part of us we never even knew existed! Instead of the usual stuff IITK was supposed to give me as a finished product of its assembly line - such as knowledge, a hard-earned degree, decent future prospects and so on....... the more important take-home's for me turned out to be much less materialistic - such as the conviction to try on, the guts to think "out of the box" and, perhaps most importantly, a broader understanding of life!
So, yes, I can hear my gray cells (which are few and far between) sobbing a little to leave this place, but the heart has unexpectedly joined in too......to bid adieu to the many bonds built in such a short span of time.....all my batke (BTech), matke (MTech) and phaddu (PhD) friends .....warm smiles from the hostel(8), mess and canteen "bhaiyas"....the "aaj mess me karela hai" canteen dinners......the heady fun of the antaragnis, techkritis and galaxy's........out-of-the-blue "contri" pizza parties.......the never-ending and "always lots to notice beside the ppt" basbe seminars....and, closest to heart, some wonderful human beings who became my family!
The last paragraph is more the kind of "acknowledgment" I would have loved to write in my thesis.....but, whatever! On a more serious note, when I look back on my time spent here, and ask myself, "Was IITK the best engineering school in this country?"....the answer I get is "Probably yes"; but on the question of "Did IITK contribute a great deal to India?", the answer is "Probably not". Like anything else, living or otherwise, this place has its share of problems, worries and challenges in the future.....but most of the people leaving their hostels for corporate shores, IIM calls or foreign scholarships know very well in their heart of hearts, that in spite of the numerous draw-backs of "yahan ka systam" (which absorbed many "gaalis" over chai and BBC), this school is still a serious stimulant of thought, innovation and application in the world! But real India (read as Nankari) awaits us outside the IITK walls with despair on the one hand and hope on the other....hope that needs to be answered....and for those of us who have cycled around the countryside know what I mean...so let's hope that our beloved IITK makes a difference...and India will follow!
It's almost 5:10 am now, and I have not yet packed an iota of matter into my prospective luggage, dispersed around my room in perfect "post big bang" anarchy, which needs to get on board a transport about 14 hrs from now (and I am a 10 hr sleeper!).......so got to go friends......take care and more later!
Will really miss IIT Kanpur.......and so will keep coming back !!!
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